June Bai

Buttons Project Singapore
Hi everyone!

Guidelines

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In order to keep this a safe and healthy environment for women to find support and healing, please adhere to the guidelines below.
 
1.     Be Kind
We are in this together to create a safe and non-judgemental space. Be kind for everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.
 
2.     Use Welcoming Language
We would love for you to be welcoming towards everyone who join this space. Bullying of any kind is not allowed, and degrading comments will not be tolerated. 
 
3.     Be Respectful
Respect everyone’s privacy, and do not ask for their private or personal information. Be respectful of other people’s viewpoints, even if they differ from yours.
 
4.     Never Give Away Your Private Information
We will never ask for your private information, such as your bank details. All communication with mentors and other women in the support group is to be kept strictly within this online platform. As such, we will not ask for your personal contact details apart from the sign- up form.
 
5.     Not More Than 2 Posts A Day
You are free to post topics within the support group spaces per the topic of discussion. However, please keep to a maximum of 2 separate posts a day as you share openly how you are doing. 
 
6.     Content 
Please do not post or link content anything that is sexually explicit, that violates copyright or intellectual property rights of others, threatens or harass others and any advertisements or solicitations. 
 
Members will be asked to stop any inappropriate or unacceptable behaviour, and are expected to comply with Buttons Project requests immediately. Failure to comply will result in removal from this community. 
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Getting Around

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Below is a video that shows you how to navigate through our online community platform.
 

 
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Heart to Heart Episode 1

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In Heart to Heart Episode 1, hear from two of my friends and I as we share honestly about our abortion experience and our road to recovery from pain and shame.

May this video give you the courage to believe that one day, you too, can walk out of the pain and to dream again. Would love to hear your comments about our sharing. Please leave your comment below!


Finding Purpose In Pain

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I had a dream.

I thought the dream I had held on to all my life was going to be fulfilled in a matter of time.

All I wanted was to settle down, build a family and be the best mother I can ever be to my kids. Carry them in my arms, watch them grow up and be there for them.

I had built this dream upon a man. The relationship was stable and we were doing okay financially. I thought he was the man I was going to marry. That gave me enough excuses to do one thing that led to another.

The wake-up call came one day after I had missed my period. It was just as I had suspected. That was the first time I saw fear in his eyes. I was scared too.

Life became one of darkness and intense pain, of guilt and shame, of a dark secret that most people did not know about…

A part of me died with the child. Instead of being the best mother I could ever be, I turned out to be the worst, choosing to hurt my unborn child and deprive him of a chance at life. The man whom I thought would walk this journey with me was also gone.

For the first time in my life, I saw how wretched I was. All along, I thought I was a generally good person, but now, I felt that even if I were to die a million times over, I could never redeem myself from the sins I had committed.

Time heals, they say. For me, that was a lie, for my pain was not alleviated a least bit after so long. After a year and a half of crying myself to sleep almost every night, it hit me one night that there was absolutely no way I could walk out of the darkness alone. A year and a half of hopelessness, guilt, shame, bitterness and pain was more than I could bear. That night, I finally recognised I needed help, and this became the turning point in my grief.

I decided to reach out for help, and I started by walking back into church where I was swiftly surrounded by people who loved me. Part of my healing journey involved letting go of the anger and bitterness that had been simmering inside me for some years. As I received forgiveness from God, I also learnt to forgive myself. Deep down, I had always desired to know where my child was. In my faith, I found the assurance that my child was in a safe and happy place. Because of that, I could finally let go and find proper closure.

In 2015 when I was travelling in New Zealand, I came across the Buttons Project, started by Peter and Marina in 2001. The idea of sending in buttons as a memorial to my unborn child strongly resonated with me. In Marina’s words, “Through my own abortion experience, I have come to realise many women feel the same – that it can be difficult to gain any sense of closure. There is no grave to visit, no tangible way of remembering. Until now.”

I felt the same way she did. We need a tangible way of remembering.

Seeing the thousands of buttons Marina received over the years made me realise that there are many out there who have been through the same loss and grief as I did. “If only Buttons Project was in Singapore during my darkest days, when I was suffering in silence all alone, it would have helped and comforted me a lot”, I thought to myself.

It is my hope that by bringing this project to Singapore, women in the same situation will know they are not alone in this struggle, and thus find the strength to take steps towards healing.

June Bai is the founder of Buttons Project Singapore. She is passionate about helping women be set free from the pain of their past and empowering them to walk in freedom into their future. 

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Your Story of Hope

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You have taken the courage to start your healing journey. You have received some healing along the way. Would you share some of your defining moments in your healing journey and encourage others who are on this journey as well? We would love to hear from you!

Here are some of pointers you may wish to follow:

1. What were you struggling with before?
2. What were some significant events that contributed to your healing and restoration?
3. What have you learnt on this journey?
4. What would you like to tell other women who are hurting after the abortion?

*This space is visible to the public. Only members are allowed to create a post. If you'd like to share how you found healing, please sign up to be a part of our support group. 

Buttons Community

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1. Safe space
This is a safe space for women who are hurting after abortion. We encourage authenticity. You are allowed to grieve and share your innermost thoughts and emotions. There is no judgement and condemnation.

2. Anonymity
You may remain anonymous. It will be great if you let us know which country you are from (You may add this under your profile). We believe that women from different nations and cultures have some things in common - pain, love and compassion.

3. Support Group
Our support group is meant to bring together members of the community to support one another. The mentors in our groups are volunteers and they may not be professionally certified as counsellors. This support group is not a substitute for professional counselling. We encourage you to see a professional counsellor if in need. If you feel you may be at immediate risk of harming yourself, please reach out to your local emergency services helpline.

Our support groups can be found under 'Supporting You'. The groups will be made available to you after you have signed up for an account.  We will send you some questions after you have signed up. This will help us to better understand and support you.

4. Non-faith- based Community Support
This is a non-faith-based support community. Any woman who is hurting after abortion, regardless of her religion, may join us in this community. We do not impose any of our religious views on anyone here, and please do likewise. You may, however, share about how your religion has helped you in your journey if it is an integral part of your life.

5. Faith-based Healing Program
On the other hand, our 'Healing After Abortion' program is based on biblical principles. There are bible references as well as prayers involved. This is a paid program, which will only be made available to those who have signed up when slots open. If you are not a Christian but would love to join our program, we would love to have you with us.

6. Comment Box
You may drop other women a note of encouragement by commenting on their posts. If their posts echo your thoughts and emotions, feel free to comment on their posts too. This is how we can support one another.

7. Mentors
There are mentors who are specially hand-picked by the Buttons Project team to be a part of this community. They may be women who have been through abortion and have found healing, or simply men and women who are wise and mature. 

All of us need mentors in life. Mentors who are able to empathise with us. Mentors who love us enough to drop notes of encouragement and give us practical advice when we need one. Sometimes, we need someone to point out areas in our lives where we need to grow in or point us in the right direction so that we can become a better version of ourselves.

Open your heart to hear what these mentors share in this community. You will be able to identify them by their tags. They may not have met you in person, but be rest assured that they love you and they have your best interest at heart.

8. Guidelines
As with all safe spaces, there are guidelines we need to adhere to in order to keep this space safe for this community. Please read the guidelines in the next section for more information. 

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